Shadow, The Ultimate Babysitter
by ParadoxalMindElla1
Summary: Cream is a really calm and polite child. When Vanilla leaves for two weeks, Cream needs a babysitter, and that role is given to our favourite Ultimate Lifeform. There is no problem about it though, I mean, how hard could babysitting a nice and peaceful child like Cream be? Yep, I totally jinxed it. Rated T for Shadow's bad language.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi everyone. I'm back. If any of you got worried, now you can be sure that I'm still alive. Hooray (?) :D_

_So, this is my new story. Sorry it took me so long to update, but my life had a lot of ups and downs in the time period between my last story and this one. I don't want to bother you with it, so let's just get on with the story, shall we?_

_Shadow: Finally you're back! I thought you forgot about me and your readers._

_Sorry Shads _:D I swear, I never forgot about any of you. I just didn't have enough time to write another story. I'll make it up to you, I promise. This story is going to be filled with humor._

_Shadow: You better make it up to us. And what did I tell you about calling me 'Shads'?_

_Shadzie!_

_Shadow: I've got a Chaos Spear with your name on it._

_Aww. You're so cute when you threaten me with Chaos Spears even though you know that I'm the writer here and I can make you not to do that. I can't wait to see your babysitting skills in this story *evil grin*_

_Shadow: You just love to torture me, don't you?_

_Aw, cheer up! What could possibly go wrong with babysitting? Oops, did I just 'call for it'? *chuckles evily*_

_Shadow: I don't want to be here._

_Exactly! You want to be in my story! So there you go! *throws Shads through my Story Portal* Weee!_

_(Sorry, I had coffee few minutes ago, so expect me being hyperactive and stuff.)_

_And now... Let the game- I mean, story begin! *'Saw' music*_

**Shadow, The Ultimate Babysitter**

**Chapter I.**

Vanilla paced back and forth through her peach coloured living room, worried look on her face.

„Amy is too busy, Sonic is on his around-the-world running session...", she quietly mumbled to herself.

Vanilla was supposed to visit her sister, Cream's aunt, because she was sick and she needed someone to take care of her. It wouldn't be a problem, of course, but she couldn't bring Cream with her. Sure, Cream likes to help people in need, but Vanilla didn't want her to catch any germs and therefore become sick, too. She wasn't afraid to leave her for a day though, as Cream is able to take care of herself and her pet chao, Cheese. But Vanilla wouldn't be gone for a day, she would be gone for two weeks. And she knew that she couldn't leave her daughter alone for that long, what kind of a mother would she be if she did?

„Knuckles refuses to leave Angel Island, Rouge is simply a bad influence...", she continued mumbling to herself.

Cream was sitting in a peach coloured armchair petting her chao and looking at her mother. She observed her mother's marching for at least half an hour by now. Also, Cream could swear that their telephone bill was going to be huge this month, judging by the number of people her mother had called.

„Tails is working on his new project and doesn't want to be disturbed, Big lost Froggy again...", Vanilla continued with her worried rant. „And I'm simply too scared to call the Chaotix here. Judging by the amount of sweets we have in the house, Charmy would trash the house in a few minutes...", she rubbed the back of her head, groaning. Who would say that it would be so hard to find a babysitter, among all the heroes available on Mobius!?

Cream looked at her mother, with a comforting smile on her face. „Don't worry mum", she said. „Cheese and I will be able to take care of ourselves. After all, we did help to defeat Metal Madness, didn't we?", Cheese nodded. „Chao chao", he confirmed, but Vanilla wasn't happy.

„Cream, it's not the same if I leave you for a day and if I leave you for two weeks.", she sighed.

„Well are there any other people left to call?", Cream asked.

Vanilla's ear's dropped thinking about the only solution left for this situation. „Well, there is one person left to call, but I doubt he will accept to watch over you."

„Well you don't know if you don't call right?", Cream said.

Vanilla nodded, agreeing with her daughter, and went over to the telephone. As she picked it up, she heard Cream ask her: „Who are you calling, anyway?"

„Shadow.", Vanilla answered, and she heard her daughter whisper, barely audible: „I'm doomed."

Shadow was sitting on a park bench with his eyes closed, hands behind his head. He was enjoying the silence and the gentle warm spring breeze that caressed his quills. He was taking advantage of his alone time, as he was unfortunate to rarely have those due to that blue annoying hedgehog. Just as he thought nothing could ruin his peace, he heard a too familiar feet tapping.

„Booooooring...", he heard a voice say. A playful voice full of snarky attitude and stubborness. His rival's voice. Sonic's voice.

„You are the most boring person I've ever met.", Sonic continued."Also the slowest.", he continued annoying him.

„Go away, Sonic", Shadow growled not even bothering to open his eyes. He wasn't in the mood to deal with that blue annoyance.

„What, are you finally admitting that I'm better than you?", Sonic started poking Shadow's head with his index finger. „Are you admitting that you are the real fakeeeeer?", he extended the last word on purpose.

Shadow growled, annoyed by his rival's stubborness. He quickly opened his eyes and grabbed Sonic's hand.

„Listen, ''buddy''...", Shadow threathened. „If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna take that hand of yours and shove it up your...", before he could finish his threat, he was interrupted by his cellphone ringtone.

„What!?", he answered angrily, letting go of Sonic's hand. His ears dropped and his eyes widened, as the voice that was coming from the cellphone became really loud, as if that person was yelling. „Sorry Vanilla... No, I won't be rude again... Yes, I KNOW it's impolite to yell over the phone, but you're doing it right now... Yes, of course you're not yelling, you're just speaking louder...", he gave a piercing stare at Sonic, who was trying not to burst into laughter. „Why did you call?... YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT!?", his eyes widened as he impolitely, as Vanilla would say, yelled into the cellphone. „I'm The Ultimate Lifeform, not some friggin babysitter!", he nervously spoke.

Sonic couldn't hold it anymore. He burst into laughter and clutched his sides. To him, there was something incredibly hilarious in seeing Shadow being lectured for his manners and attitude. Not to mention seeing him as a babysitter... Priceless!

„... Okay, fine. For how long am I supposed to babysit her?... TWO WEEKS!? Oh damn it... Sorry, I won't say 'damn' in front of Cream... Tonight?... Ugh, fine... Yeah, yeah, bye to you too...", he hung up, his eye twitching. He looked at his rival, who was clearly enjoying all of this.

„... Shadow, the Ultimate Babysitter...", Sonic managed to whisper before bursting into laughter again.

„... This is going to be a great month...", Shadow thought sarcastically, before giving Sonic his well deserved punch in the face.

_So, what do you think? :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_So here's chapter 2! I'm surprised how much interest this story got with just one chapter! :D I hope you'll like the rest of it, I've got some special plans for Shadzie here... *evil face*****_

_Shadow: *gulp* o_o'' Why are you doing this?_

_Calm down Shads! It's normal for us writers to torture our favorite characters in a comical way! It's like our way of saying that we love you! :3_

_Shadow: I'll never understand you._

_Exactly! And now on to the second chapter! What horrors await Shadow with his new job? Is he just over exaggerating it? Is Cream really a nice kid as everybody thinks she is? Why can't I find any more coffee in my home L ? Find out in this chapter!_

_Shadow: Help me... T_T_

**Chapter II.**

„Shadow is a babysitter! Shadow is a babysitter! ", Sonic laughed while running circles around Shadow, who was not amused by his rival's mocking.

„I swear, if you don't stop now, I'm going to Chaos Blast you in outer space! ", he yelled at the Blue Blur (who started to run so fast that it wasn't even metaphorical anymore).

Sonic stopped in front of Shadow with a wide grin on his face. "Don't be so angry, Shadow. ", he said. "Remember, it's a bad example for children.", he provoked his dark counterpart.

"That's enough! ", Shadow growled and launched himself towards Sonic, who started running away.

"Yay, race! ", he exclaimed as he ran. "Last one to Cream's house, faker!"

"I'm definitely **not** in a mood to race you, idiot!", Shadow said angrily.

"Well don't be late for work, nanny!", Sonic provoked him once more

"**I AM NOT A NANNY!**", Shadow yelled, and started chasing him with a Chaos Spear in his hand.

"Battle race, eh? Now that's even more fun!", Sonic said, and headed towards Cream's place.

"Mommy, is Mister Shadow coming or not?", Cream asked her mother. "He is fairly late."

"Of course he is. He just has to come over the… shock…", Vanilla answered, becoming impatient herself. She has already packed and all she had to do is wait for the babysitter to arrive.

"I'll make cookies so he feels welcome!", Cream said happily. "We could also have a tea party!", she gleefully added.

"Honey, I don't think Shadow is a type for tea parties.", Vanilla said.

"Well, we could play with dolls…", Cream said hopefully.

"I don't think he likes that either.", her mother said, trying to avoid possible problems.

"Well, I'm sure Cheese and I will think of something…", Cheam said thoughtfully. Cheese nodded.

"Whatever it is, don't make it too… girly. Or pink.", Vanilla said.

"What **does** he like? Because it seems that he hates everything.", Cream asked.

"Everybody like music.", Vanilla tried.

"Great!", Cream said cheerfully. "I'm sure that he'll like it here then. I like music too."

The doorbell rang. Cream went to open the door.

"Hi Mister Sonic! Hi Mister Shadow!", she welcomed them cheerfully.

"Hi Cream!", Sonic said. "I was just making sure that your nanny wouldn't be too late for work."

"For the last time, I'm not a nanny!", Shadow growled at Sonic.

"Sheesh, calm down Hilda.", Sonic chuckled. "You've been complaining the whole trip here."

"Why are you calling him Hilda?", Cream asked, confused by Sonic's jokes.

"Oh, it's just that I had a few nannies in my childhood.", Sonic said. "And most of them were named Hilda.", he grinned.

"I'm not a nanny! And I'm definitely not nanny Hilda!", Shadow said angrily. He wanted to hit Sonic so badly now. But he couldn't because of Cream. Guess that Sonic was safe. For now.

"Oh…", Cream nodded. "Well, I was just about to make cookies, so please come in.", she added happily.

"Oh I'll be leaving now.", Sonic excused himself. "Tails is working on a new upgrade for my shoes, so I'm going to check if he needs to test it or something."

"That's okay", Cream said. "Have a nice evening then.", she waved as Sonic left.

Cream and Shadow entered the living room where Vanilla waited with two red suitcases by her side.

"Oh, you've arrived, great.", Vanilla said to Shadow. "Now that you're here, let me tell you a few rules."

"Go ahead.", Shadow said, crossing his arms on his chest.

"Rule number one, no running around the house, especially not with scissors.", Vanilla started. Shadow raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting something more… serious. "Rule number two, no junk food. Rule number three, don't make a mess around the house. You do, you'll have to clean it."

"That sounds simple.", Shadow said with a smirk. Looks like this wasn't that bad after all.

"Oh, I'm not done", Vanilla smiled. "Rule number four, no parties. Rule number five, if the Chaotix come to visit, for the love of Chaos don't give Charmy sweets. Just trust me on this one."

"Okaaay…", Shadow said, slightly weirded out. He wasn't going to let Charmy approach the house when he was here anyway. He absolutely disliked that bee.

"And whatever you do, don't go to the attic.", Vanilla warned. "There's some weird shi…", Vanilla glanced at her daughter, who quietly observed the conversation, absorbing her words. "…stuff. Weird stuff. On the attic.", she corrected herself.

"Okay…", Shadow said, looking at her suspiciously. Well, nothing can go wrong if he's careful, right? He prayed to Chaos that he hadn't just jinxed himself.

"Well, now that we've got that out of place, here's a small advice.", Vanilla said and cleared her throat. Then suddenly her face changed from a nice and warm one into a threatful one. She grabbed him and pulled him closer to herself. Shadow gulped. "I swear, if you do anything to spoil my daughter's behavior, trash my house or simply don't obey my rules, I'm going to make sure that you regret that during your whole immortal life!", she said trough her teeth. She let Shadow go, who had the most frightened expression on his face, and smiled nicely again.

"Do you even breathe!?", Shadow stuttered, frightened by her long angry speech.

"Have fun!", Vanilla said cheerfully and picked up her suitcases.

"Bye mum!", Cream said as her mother left. After Vanilla left, she approached Shadow with a cheerful smile on her face. "Time for a tea party! I'll make cookies!", she giggled and went towards the kitchen. Cheese happily followed.

"I'm screwed…", Shadow thought. Looks like he **did** jinx himself.

_Aaaaand? You like? :D_

_Shadow: No!_

_Oh, shut up. I hope Cream makes you chamomile tea for you. I heard it helps with relaxing._

_Shadow: … You'll be so sorry one day… -.-_

_Yeah, yeah. Don't do anything stupid, though. It's a bad example for Cream. And remember what Vanilla told you…_

_Shadow: She's creepy… o_o''_

_Motherly love, I guess._

_Shadow: Right…_

_Until next chapter, everyone! :D_


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for taking so long with this chapter. IRL snuck up on me again. Grrrr. ._

_Also, tomorrow is 3__rd__ November, which is also known as a worldwide holiday called… My birthday! :D I'll be 17 in less than 10 hours :D Put on a party hat Shads, let's celebrate!_

_Shadow: … How about no._

_Aww Shads! Don't be a party breaker! Here, have some imaginary cake!_

_Shadow: … Are you serious?_

_Yep :3_

_Shadow: … And we slowly move away from the weird person… *takes a few steps*_

_NYO! *pulls Shads back and puts a party hat on his head* If you don't want to be on my birthday party, you'll be on Cream's… TEA PARTY! *evil laugh*_

_Shadow: I don't know which is worse._

_You'll have to find out then! Here we go!_

**Chapter III.**

Shadow couldn't believe his eyes. He, the all-mighty Ultimate Lifeform, who can control the Chaos powers easier than blinking his eye, who can rival Sonic's speed, who saved the world from destruction so many times, who is with no doubt the most badass person he knows… He, who is all that, is forced to sit by a pink kitchen table and drink tea from a pink cup. Pink! Not to mention the fact that he had to talk with other "guests" Cream had brought, ranging from various plush toys to plastic and porcelain dolls. One can only guess how he was feeling. The chocolate cookies weren't bad though, and he would gladly eat the whole plate faster than blinking an eye, but Cream barely let him look at them, much less eat them. "Those are for the guests", she said.

So they sat in complete silence, looking (or forced to look, in Shadow's case) at a pink Chao plushie, who was apparently telling them about its holiday.

"That's wonderful, Strawberry", Cream cheerfully said to the plushie. "Isn't it Shadow?", Cream asked.

"Yeah, yeah…", he mumbled. All this pink colour made his head spin.

"Ask her something", Cream encouraged him.

"Hmph. Fine.", he mumbled. "When are you leaving?"

"Shadow!", Cream said with a surprised tone. "You offended her! Now apologise!", she crossed her arms and angrily looked at him.

"Chao chao!", Cheese supported his plush-cousin.

"Sorry pink plushie.", Shadow said with an annoyed voice. "It won't happen again."

"She will forgive you,", Cream said. "But only if you give her a kiss on the cheek.", she giggled.

Shadow's eyes widened. "Why!?", he said in a surprised tone.

"Because she will be very mad if you don't!", Cream said.

Shadow groaned and stood up. He hesitatingly approached the plush toy, and kissed it on the cheek.

"And now you two can get married!", Cream cheerfully said. "I'll make the cake, and the dress for her, and you could get married in this evening's sunset…"

"No.", Shadow cut her off. "I'm not marrying a plushie!", his eye twitched. What's wrong with children and their games these days? He sat back on his chair, supporting his head with his hand.

Cream then noticed Shadow's face, filled with boredom. "I guess you find this boring, don't you Mister Shadow?", she said sadly.

Shadow looked at her. "Of course not, just go ahead and play", he told her, not wanting to hurt the kid's feelings.

"You find this boring, maybe you would like some music?", Cream asked.

Music? That can't be that bad. "Fine.", he said.

Cream stood up from her chair and headed towards a stereo. "This is what me and my friends listen to.", she said and inserted a CD and pressed the play button.

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no._

Bustin the Beaver, every rock-loving person's nightmare. (AN: no offence, it's just for comedy)

Cream was enjoying the music, dancing with Cheese and placing her dolls around the floor to emulate a dance floor. Shadow was dragged by Cream and Cheese to dance, too.

"I do not dance!", he angrily thought, standing still in the center of the 'dance floor'. He was getting a headache from all of this.

Shadow's eye twitched. Now that he thought about it, silence was perfect. He turned off the music, much to Cream's displeasure.

"Why?", she asked, wanting to keep listening to her favorite song.

"Headache.", Shadow said. "I'll just go and rest on a couch a bit until it's gone. Shouldn't take too long.", he added as he was slowly heading towards the living room.

"Okay, Mister Shadow", Cream nodded. "Everything is going to be fine while you rest. I promise."

Shadow turned around to look at the rabbit._ "No, she wouldn't cause any problems, she's a good kid. There's no need to worry, Shadow old pal._", he thought.

_No need to worry…_

It didn't take too long for him to doze off. Just like it didn't take too long for him to be awakened. As Shadow's eyes snapped open, he was met with silence and… darkness? It couldn't be that dark! He looked around. All the lights were off. His eyes got used to the darkness quickly. Maybe Cream went to sleep? What kind of a babysitter was he, to sleep while a child roams freely around the house? Vanilla is going to kill him.

Suddenly, his ear twitched to an unfamiliar sound. The sound of…

"_… Scratching?_", he thought. He got up and followed the scratching. Cream was nowhere to be seen. The scratching lead him upstairs and all the way to the…

"_… Attic door?_", he thought. What… the… hell.

He remembered Vanilla's warning. Do not go to the attic, no matter what. But what was that scratching behind the door? What if Cream went in there, and something happened to her? It's his responsibility to check. His hand unwillingly went to the doorknob. Before he turned it, the scratching stopped.

_"It stopped?_", Shadow thought. "Maybe it was just the wind. Right. The wind opened an old window that produced scratching-like sounds when moved. Yeah.", he calmed himself. Suddenly he felt like he's being watched. He turned around; there was no one behind him. He shuddered.

Then he felt like someone was standing behind him. He turned around.

"Aaaaaaaah!", he screamed.

_Done!_

_Shadow: What's with the creepy part?_

_Oh, I just thought, since I missed to update on Halloween, to insert something creepy in this chapter._

_Shadow: It's supposed to be humor, not horror!_

_Humor-filled horror?_

_Shadow: *facepalm*_

_Anyway, who reviews, get some imaginary cake! It's chocolate! :D_

_Shadow: Whatever._

_See ya!_


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm so sorry! I'm so late with updating this story... I'm a terrible author... :'(_

_Shadow: Wait, you're alive? I thought that you died or something and therefore didn't update this..._

_Very funny. Ahaha. -.- Anyway, I think that I'll have more time to update this story and also start a new story that I was planning to start for a long time now, since the winter break is near... Yay :3 But, first let me ace all my final exams so I don't have to worry about studying for correction exams, heheh. No, wait. No exams for me, I broke my arm :'(_

_Shadow: How in the world did you manage to break your arm!? Oh, and a new story? What, a new comedy to torture me?_

_I was playing dodgeball on my P.E. class and I fell :'( And nope, this time it won't be comedy, it'll be something more serious._

_Shadow: Oh, okay... Am I the main character?_

_Well, I'll see about that... :)_

_Shadow: Hey!_

_There will be two main characters! Now on to this chapter! Oh, and sorry for a long(ish) author's note, I'll try not to do that again ^_^' I wonder what happened to our unfortunate babysitter since the last chapter..._

_Shadow: Don't call me a babysitter!_

**Chapter IV.**

"Aaaah!", he screamed.

In front of our dearest, already too tortured, Ultimate Babysitt... I mean, Life Form, was standing the most horrifying creature he had ever seen... Actually, correct that, the creature was floating.

"... Wait a minute, that thing's alive!?", Shadow wondered, staring at the strangest sight he had probably ever seen in his life.

It was Strawberry, that pink chao plushie, floating in the air, looking pretty much more alive than a few hours ago.

"G-get away from me!", Shadow stuttered, surprised by the sight. He swiftly round-kicked the pink chao to the floor and ran downstairs.

By the way, no chao was harmed in the making of this story. Thought you'd want to know.

Just as he managed to run downstairs, he skid to a stop.

"Cream!", he remembered, "I have to get her!", he turned around and stopped in front of the stairs. "Calm down!", he scolded himself, "You're the Ultimate Life Form! You're not supposed to be afraid of anything in the world!", he created a ball of Chaos energy and held it, ready for any scientifically unexplainable living toy attacks. He started climbing back up.

"Cream!", he called, "Cream, are you okay? Answer me!", he held his breath and listened for any possible answers or sounds, but there were none.

As he climbed back into the upper-floor hallway, he noticed that Strawberry wasn't there any more.

"That cursed toy must've gone after Cream", he thought and called again, "Cream!", but he got no answer.

He slowly approached Cream's bedroom. As he got in front of the door, he slowly knocked. "Cream?", he called, hoping to finally get an answer from the kid. And he did, he heard a really silent voice that produced a sound similar to giggling.

"Cream, are you okay? Can I come in?", he asked, and slowly opened the door. As he entered the room, all his protective instincts became aware, because what he saw was Strawberry, floating in front of Cream, who seemed rather amused with the sight of her living plush toy.

"Get away from her, you cursed toy!", he jumped to attack the obvious threat, creating a Chaos Spear in his left hand.

"Mister Shadow, no!", Cream exclaimed and jumped in front of Strawberry, almost causing Shadow to crash into them. Shadow barely stopped himself from doing so.

"Cream, get away from it! That thing's dangerous!", he warned her.

"What do you mean?", Cream said in a confused tone.

"Cream, toys can't come to life by themselves, something's terribly wrong with that floating Strawberry plushie there...", he explained, "And I mustn't let it hurt you, so if you could just step aside so I can ..."

"That's not Strawberry!", she interrupted him, earning a questioning look from Shadow. "It's Cheese! He just wanted to make a joke on you by painting himself pink to make you think that he's Strawberry, and you were so rude to yell and kick him!", she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes, looking angrily at Shadow. "You're the bad man here, mister!", she added.

"But I thought it was a possesed toy...", he explained, confused by Cream's outburst.

"There are no such things as possesed toys, Mister Shadow, I thought you knew that, you're the grown-up here!", she shook her head, "Now apologise to Cheese!"

Shadow sighed deeply, "Sorry Cheese, let's make sure this doesn't happen again", he apologised, sending Cheese a subliminal message while doing so. At least Cheese won't try to pull pranks on him again.

"Chao...", Cheese said.

Shadow sighed, "Fine, now would you please go to sleep, it's past your bedtime", he said, checking the wall clock, which showed 10 P.M.

"Okay, Mister nanny Shadow!", Cream giggled while mentioning Sonic's joke, which resulted in Shadow twitching his eye, and jumped into bed.

Shadow started walking to the door to turn off the lights and go back downstairs, but Cream stopped him.

"Mister Shadow, can you please tell me a bedtime story?", she asked.

Shadow groaned, "I'm not really good at telling stories...", he mumbled.

"But, I can't fall asleep without a bedtime story!", Cream said with a sad face.

Shadow took another sigh, "Fine, I'll think of something...", he sat on the edge of the bed, turned on a bedside lamp and began his story.

"Okay now... How do I start?", he asked.

"Most stories start with 'Once upon a time', you can't go wrong with that.", Cream helped.

"Okay then... Once upon a time", he started, "...There was a... Umm... A girl. And her name was... Ahhh... Actually she didn't have name", he scratched the back of his head.

"You mean, you can't think of a name?", Cream looked at him with disbelief.

"... No...", he admitted.

"Here, call her Monna, like that girl from a TV show", she suggested.

"Thanks. So, her name was Monna", he continued.

"Was she a princess?", she asked.

"No...", he answered, but then he saw a dissapointed look in Cream's eyes, "I mean, yes, she was.", he corrected himself, "And she wanted to find her Prince Charming, and she did. And they lived happily ever after. The end.", he finished.

"You're not really good at this, are you?", Cream sighed with dissapointment.

"What? The story's great! Simple and without too much boring and unnecessery details", he defended himself.

"Bedtime stories are something completely opposite, you're supposed to make me fall asleep with all those details, you know", she explained.

"Umm... Okay, Princess Monna was wearing a dress and Prince Charming was wearing some kind of a royal outfit with a cape. Better?", he clumsily added the description.

"Not really. Here, let me show you", Cream cleared her throat and started her story. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. Her name was Monna. She had brown hair that reached her shoulders and she was wearing a beautiful pink dress with pink sparkles. One day, Monna was walking across a field full of flowers, and she was picking the pink flowers because that was her favourite colour.", Shadow interrupted her with yawning. Cream reminded him, "Shadow, you're supposed to make **me** fall asleep, not the opposite."

"Okay, okay, I'm just a little bit tired", he said.

"Anyway, princess Monna was picking flowers, and suddenly an evil wizard appeared", Cream continued, changing the tone of her voice to suit her characters, "'I'm going to take you to my castle and rule your kingdom', he said. But suddenly came a prince on a white horse and started fighting the evil wizard. 'I'll help you, my dear princess!', he said. He fought the wizard three days and three nights, and finally, he won. Princess Monna fell in love with him, and they decided to get married the next day. And they lived happily ever after. The end.", Cream happily concluded her story. "Do you understand what should bedtime stories look like now, Mister Shadow?", she asked, but heard snoring instead of the answer.

She looked at Shadow, only to see him sleeping in a sitting position, head placed in his hand. Cream sighed, annoyed, and shook him to wake him up.

"Huh? I wasn't sleeping!", he said as he snapped awake.

"Sure you weren't", Cream said, "Go to sleep. I'll read a storybook instead."

Shadow got up without response, and walked out of the room, zombie-like. "Good night", he managed to mumble, and closed the door.

He threw himself onto the couch an fell asleep almost the same minute. Looks like babysitting is more tiring than some would say.

_And here's the end of this chapter. Hope you liked it!_

_Shadow: *yawn*_

_Go back to sleep, Shadow._

_Shadow: But I want to say something for the outro, too!_

_I'll let you take over the next chapter's intro instead._

_Shadow: Okay then... *chuckles evily*_

_I don't think I like that chuckle. Well, it's too late now. Anyway, did you like the prologue for my new story, "The Legacy Of The Seven Emeralds"? I hope you did, since it came kinda randomly to me and I wrote it in less than two hours, lol. If you didn't read it, please do, and tell me what you think about it. It would really mean a lot to me :)_

Until next chapter, everyone!


	5. Chapter 5

_Shadow: Hi everyone, this is your favourite Ultimate Lifeform speaking. Due to some... technical difficulties, Ella can't write today's author's note._

_Hey! Untie me and give me back my keyboard!_

_Shadow: No can do. Remember what you promised me at the end of the last chapter?_

_... You know, I'm really starting to hate you._

_Shadow: Of course you are. Anyway, it's time for everyone to see how crazy can babysitting be. If you thought the second day would be a lot easier, you sure thought wrong!_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Chapter V.**

"Oooooh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! SpongeBob SquarePants!"

Shadow was woken up by a joyful cartoon theme song. Slowly opening one eye, he saw Cream and Cheese sitting on an armchair and watching the crazy adventures of everyone's favourite annoying talking sponge. He didn't hate the cartoon, but still he had no interest in watching it, its characters reminded him too much of the people he knew. Patrick for example, had an IQ similar to Big's, and SpongeBob was, in Shadow's eyes, as annoying as that blue annoyance, who he still wanted to kick in the face for making fun of him.

"Good morning, Mister Shadow!", Cream joyfully said.

"Morning Cream. Cheese.", he returned.

"Do you want to watch cartoons with us?", Cream asked.

"No, thanks. I'll go see if I can prepare something for breakfast.", he said as he got up and went to the kitchen. Immortality set aside, Ultimate Lifeforms have to eat too, unless they like to walk around with opera sounds coming from their stomack. 

He opened the fridge and started looking for something for him and the kids to eat. Maybe he could prepare some cereal? No, that would be too simple. He's a babysitter now, and he should prove that he's capable of at least making a decent breakfast. Let's see... Maybe he could make some pancakes? Yes, that would be good. Vanilla's cookbook should have the recipe for the pancake dough...

After easily finding Vanilla's hand-written cookbook on a kitchen shelf, he started browsing the recipes in search for the right one.

"Muffins... Waffles... Cookies... Cupcakes... Pancakes!", he finally found the recipe. "This shouldn't be too hard, let's see..."

After finding all of the ingredients, he started the preparation. Chaos help us all, he'd never cooked before. At least nothing more complex than scrambled eggs or frozen pizza.

Carefully following the recipe, he first put all of the dry ingredients in a bowl and mixed them with milk. After that he added eggs and oil and mixed until the dough was ready. After he spread some of the dough on the heated frying pan he waited until he thought it was time to flip the pancake.

"This shouldn't be to hard", he said, and took the pan to flip the pancake in the air. He flicked the pan to toss the pancake... nothing. "Maybe it wasn't strong enough", he thought and tried again. Still nothing. He checked the pancake. It sticked to the pan. "Oh, come on!", he growled and started waving the pan around, trying to unstick the pancake.

"Why... won't... you... fly... you... DAMN PANCAKE!", he screamed and waved the pan around more violently. And... he actually suceeded. The pancake flew in the air, flipping a few times as it did so, and... got stuck on the ceiling.

Shadow stared at the pancake above him, his eye twithing.

"DAMN IT!", he yelled furiously.

"You said the 'D' word! Twice!", he heard Cream gasp behind him.

Shadow turned around to see Cream standing in the doorway. "Shit, you heard me...", he said, remembering what Vanilla told him about cursing in front of Cream.

"And now you said the 'S' word!", she gasped again.

"Please don't tell your mother about this...", he asked.

"Mister Shadow, why is there a pancake stuck on the ceiling?", Cream asked, pointing at the pancake on the ceiling.

"Breakfast", Shadow grumbled.

"Oh, I see...", Cream said. "Need any help?"

"I'll be fine", he answered crossing his arms on his chest, too proud to give up just yet. Nobody can mess with Shadow, especially not some pancakes on the ceiling.

"Are you sure?", Cream raised an eyebrow.

"Positive", he answered.

"Okay then", Cream said and turned around to leave.

Shadow glanced at the pancake above him. "On second thought", he said, making Cream stop and turn around. "You could flip the pancakes. I don't want Vanilla to return and be met with a new ceiling layer."

"Yay! Pancakes!", Cream cheered and happily went to help Shadow fix his cooking disaster.

Shadow sighed. The day had just begun, and he was already met with a disaster. At least it can't be worse, can it? 

... He really had to say it.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Shadow: Did I really have to say it?!_

_Yup._

_Shadow: Do I really have to go through even more hell?!_

_Yup._

_Shadow: But, why?!_

_More fun._

_Shadow: Ugh. Whatever. Please review._

_And please tell Shadow to untie me and to give me back my keyboard!_

_Shadow: Heh heh... Not gonna happen._


	6. Chapter 6

_Shadow: How?! How can babysitting be this hard?!_

_Aw, it isn't that hard, Shads. You've just met with a couple of unfortunate events, is all._

_Shadow: It's all your fault!_

_It's not! Okay, maybe it is._

_Shadow: ... -.-'_

_Here's the next chapter! Enjoy, everyone!_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Chapter VI.**

Shadow never was a 'teamwork' type. Whatever he did in his life, he prefered to do it by himself. Sure, there were a couple of exceptions, but those happened rarely. He always enjoyed the pride he felt for finishing his work alone.

Speaking of rare exceptions, those pancakes from earlier really were easier and quicker to make with Cream's help. No more pancakes ended up on the ceiling.

"How long until that one unsticks from the ceiling?", Cream asked Shadow, pointing at a certain pancake above her.

"Beats me", he answered, "Might as well stay up there for the rest of the eternity. Who knows, maybe in a few years you'll be able to bring it to school as a part of a Biology project", he chuckled.

"Hey, you laughed!", Cream was surprised, "But Mister Sonic told me that you're a grumpy Grinch who haunts children in their nightmares and doesn't know how to laugh", she added and flipped another pancake.

"As first, I didn't laugh. Something was in my throat, and I cleared it.", he said, "As second, remind me to show Sonic my appreciation for his jokes the next time I see him."

"Okaaay...", Cream nodded suspiciously and put the finished pancake on top of the other pancakes, "Anyway, now that the pancakes are done, let's eat!", she joyfully carried the plate to the table.

Shadow helped her set the table and bring various syrups, jams and what-nots to eat.

"Let me just taste one!", Cream took a bit of her pancake to taste the dough before putting the syrup on. "I wonder how good your pancakes are for your first time making them!", she tasted the pancake. A few seconds later, she frowned. "Mister Shadow, how much sugar did you exactly put in them?", she grimaced.

"Umm, it said 'SUGAR - 2' in the cookbook. I accidentally smudged the rest of the line before I read it, so I guessed it said '2 mugs'.", he explained.

Cream's eyes widened. "... Two... Mugs...?", she put her fork back on the table. "You could've just asked, but it's fine. Let's eat cereal instead."

"They can't be that bad", Shadow defended his cooking skills, "I'm the Ultimete Lifeform! Therefore my cooking should be ultimate, too", he tasted a pancake, chewed a bit, and almost choked at the taste.

Just as he was about to clear the table to prepare a new breakfast, he heard the doorbell. He went to the front door and opened it. His mood severely dropped at the sight before him.

"Hi-ya, Shadow!", Sonic stood at the entrace, "I just came to check up on my favourite nanny and see if Cream's still alive", he grinned.

"You're the last person I wanted to see now. Heck, you're the last person I'd ever want to see!", Shadow didn't even bother to hide his dislike towards the True Blue.

"Cheer up, Hilda! You'll get gassy!", Sonic joked, and invited himself inside. "Hey, I smell food!", he went towards the kitchen, "Hey Cheese", he waved as he passed by the chao, who was still sitting on a cushion and watching cartoons.

"Stop being so immature, damn it!", Shadow closed the door and followed him.

"Watch the language, Shads! Children in the house!", Sonic waved his finger at Shadow.

"You...", Shadow growled, but stopped as they entered the kitchen, where Cream was.

"Oh hey, Mister Sonic!", Cream happily greeted.

"Hi Cream", Sonic returned. He then zoomed next to the table and sat on it.

"Mommy never told you not to sit on the table?", Shadow mocked him.

Sonic ignored Shadow's mocking, "Geez, Shads! I didn't know you can cook!", Sonic stared at the plate full of pancakes. "Mind if I grab some? They're not chilli dogs, but everything's good for a hungry hedgehog!"

"Go ahead", Shadow said with a smirk. Cream just looked at him with shock in her eyes. She knew why he let Sonic taste them. She tried to say something, but it was too late.

"Alright!", Sonic stuffed a pancake in his mouth. A few seconds later he started choking on it and coughed it out. "What the hell is this? Assassination food?", he said between coughs.

"No, I was just testing a few recipes for your birthday party. Thought I could make you a cake", Shadow said with a dose of hidden sarcasm.

Sonic got of the table, "Here's an advice. Eat nothing but cereal as long as Shadow's here. That way you can avoid risking food poisoning", he said jokingly, "See Hilda, I told you you'll never be a good housewife", he grinned at Shadow.

"Maybe, but that's why I'm a great bouncer!", he growled, "Get out!", he grabbed Sonic and started pushing him towards the front door.

"Calm down, buddy! I was just joking!", Sonic said, trying to cheer up his moody rival.

"I said, get out!", Shadow shoved Sonic through the front door, "And don't call me buddy!", he slammed the door in his face.

"Oh come on!", Sonic's voice was heard from outside.

Shadow stomped angrily back to the kitchen. Cream didn't comment any of the show she'd just witnessed, and opened the fridge to take the milk and make some cereal.

"Sorry Cream", Shadow noticed Cream's dissapointment, "But I just can't stand him"

"Why?", Cream asked while closing the fridge, "Mister Sonic is a good person"

"I know, but he always manages to push me over the edge", Shadow said.

"Maybe you shouldn't let him do so, and keep calm", Cream advised.

"If it only were that easy", Shadow said, "He just enjoys to annoy me"

"Maybe he just wants you to be his friend?", Cream suggested.

"No way that's gonna happen", Shadow said, "I don't make friends with fakers"

Cream sighed. Suddenly the phone rang.

"Who is it now?", Shadow let an annoyed sigh and picked up the phone, "Hello?", he answered.

"Oh, hi Shadow! Vector here!", Vector's voice was heard from the other side of the line.

"What do you want?", Shadow let another annoyed sigh.

"Nothing in particular, just calling to ask something", Vector answered.

"... Well?", Shadow urged him to continue, "Do you need my approval to ask?"

"Oh, of course not. Heh heh.", Vector chuckled, "Just wondering if you've seen Charmy anywhere. We can't find him", the crocodile let another nervous chuckle, "We think he might stop by to visit Cream..."

"Oh, really?", Shadow said nicely. An obvious sign that he was about to verbally induce a new nightmare for a poor soul who decides to piss him off. Chaotix have just met with a horrible fate, haven't they? "Hold on a second, Vector", he said and turned to Cream. "Cover your ears", he said.

"Okay", Cream said and did so. She could guess that whatever Shadow was going to say wasn't really pleasant.

Shadow put the phone back to his ear and continued, "WHAT!?", Shadow yelled, "You guys are detectives and still you manage to lose something as loud and hyperactive as that bee!? What kind of morons are you!?", he shouted angrily. The last thing he needed is a hyperactive bee flying around the house.

"Calm down, it's not that bad", Vector tried to calm him.

"Oooh, I'm calm alright", Shadow chuckled menacingly, "Because if I wasn't calm, you wouldn't be talking to me over the phone now, cause I would Chaos Control behind you and make you relive all your worst nightmares!", he breathed heavily.

"Hey, at least it can't be wor...", Vector said, but he was interrupted by Shadow.

"Don't you dare to say 'worse'!", he threatened, "You should keep that thing on a leash!"

"He's just a kid, Shadow. How much damage can a kid do?", Vector said.

"I swear, if you just jinxed me, all of the things I said earlier will come true", he threatened and hung up.

He turned to Cream and nodded to her to remove her hands from her ears.

"Who was it?", Cream asked.

"Vector", he answered and started looking through the windows with a hit of paranoia.

"What did he say?", she asked.

"Let's just hope you don't have to find out", he answered, "Let's just eat", he turned towards the table and froze.

"What's wrong, Mister Shadow?", Cream asked.

"Cream, did you take the pancakes from the table?", he asked.

"No", she said, "I thought you did."

"I didn't", he said.

... But that means...

"Oh shit."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Done!_

_Shadow: Shit!_

_Calm down._

_Shadow: How am I supposed to calm down? That bee's a hellspawn!_

_Shadow, you're The Ultimate Lifeform AND The Ultimate Babysitter. You'll survive._

_Shadow: Who's side are you on?_

_Yours, of course!_

_Shadow: I have a hard time believing that lately._

_Also, question for the readers: Can you find a reference I (not so subtly) put in this chapter? If you did, tell me in the reviews! See ya!_


End file.
